One of my favorite movie lines -- and admittedly, I have a few -- is uttered by 'Aunt Frances' (Stockard Channing) in the movie Practical Magic.
Aunt Frances says,
"My dear girl, when are you going to understand that being normal isn't a virtue. It rather denotes a lack of courage."
Over the years, I've come to wonder whether the whole 'normal' thing actually just causes an enormous amount of suffering and mayhem.
The pursuit of 'normal' is like this quicksandy mudhole. (Been there. Done that. Feels awful.)
I mean really, what IS normal? Who gets to decide?
Even more importantly, what do we sacrifice on the Altar of Normal?
Because I guarantee you that something gets sacrificed, and it's usually something pretty valuable.
I'd go so far as to say that 'normal' is actually an amazing lie. It doesn't exist, which is why the pursuit of 'normal' is an exercise in futility, suffering, and diminishment.
Seriously, I've explored the terrain of 'trying to be normal', whatever the !@#% that means.
What it seems to end up meaning is 'not standing out'. Fitting in. Toning down. Shutting up. Not shining.
That means that the 'sacrificial lamb' on the Altar of Normal is everything that is unique and edgy about us.
WE get sacrificed on the Altar of Normal.
The unique tapestry of our perspectives, shaped by our experiences over the course of our lives, is the Pearl of Great Price that we sell cheap in pursuit of 'normal'.
Changing what we worship...
In a 2005 commencement speech at Kenyon College, and right before his own death, the writer David Foster Wallace said this:
"You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn't. You get to decide what to worship."
It's true: We do get to choose.
And we can choose to shift our allegiance away from the soul-sucking, Light-dimming, gift-wasting Cult of Normal.
We're not 'normal', none of us.
And if 'fitting in to Normal' requires us to sell ourselves out -- our own Faustian bargain -- then maybe it'd be better not to 'fit in' to that particular thing, yes?
We're each completely unique, like snow flakes, and what makes us unique is our gift to the world.
Figuring out what that is, and sharing it in the world, does take a bit of courage, but it also gives a lot of joy (that's one of the clues!).
What's more, this is as true for a unique business or group as it is for an individual.
Frederick Buechner wrote that, Our true vocation is where our deep joy meets the world's great need.
It's a Pearl of Great Price -- our uniqueness and that 'great joy' -- that both brings us alive and in some vital way meets the world's great need.
Love,
Comments