Strong at the Broken Places

The world breaks everyone, and afterward many are strong at the broken places.

Ernest Hemingway

There are times when, due to some circumstance or series of events -- often involving a deep loss of some kind -- we get broken open.

Something within us, or something in our lives that we considered 'unbreakable' or 'all-important' comes crashing down or shatters apart, and we're brought to our knees. We find ourself living with the uncertainty of broken places.

Just looking at the headlines -- if we're not already hearing the same thing from friends, family members, clients, readers, etc. or doing a mano-a-mano with it ourselves -- we see that loss and brokenness is a common theme these days.

I understand this deeply now, having been through a cycle of years that featured wave after wave of losses which seemed, prior to this time (and even sometimes during and after it), unimaginable.

For example, over the seven years between 2000 and 2007 included the loss of several immediate family members, including my father and grandmother, to the loss of several beloved cats who were dear family members and long-time companions; to the loss of a pregnancy mid-way through as a result of a flukey accident while traveling, and lingering health challenges related to it; to business and financial losses related to outside economic forces and personal and family wellness crises; the end of a 22-year marriage; and the loss of my community and proximity to dear friends when I was called East from San Francisco to help with my father's hospice care and then remain in closer proximity to family after his passing.

Whew!

In honesty, all of this unmade me -- a common term in spiritual traditions that still include the Wisdom of navigating the Dark Night and the cycle of Death that is part of Life.

Such deep change breaks open the Mask and shatters the 'false identity', the 'who you thought you were (supposed to be)'. It completely undoes your notions of how you thought things were supposed to be, and challenges you to your core to remember what's real.

Like our kindreds in other places in the world, we in our Western, American culture, experience loss regularly, and our ancestors knew it well.

Yet, despite that experience and knowing, we don't have a refuge for authentically, openly experiencing loss and grief in a culture that shuns and shies away from it, that treats it as a 'failure' because our collective awareness has traveled so far from the wisdom of Life-Death-and-Renewal that our ancestors knew so well.

And heartbreakingly, so many people suffer losses in isolation, which magnifies the grief because it's a full-on experience of the loss of connection that resides beneath the losses that take place on the surface of our lives.

Now, with so much that seemed 'sure' threatened, along with the natural cycles of life and death of those among us, there is a call to remember the Wisdom that can help us navigate this 'underworld' more gracefully and with an awareness of connection and the ongoing Nature of Life.

This is how we might grow strong in our broken places, and how we come to see that which challenges our certainty, and that which undoes and unmakes what is familiar to us, is also the very thing that reveals the place where new life grows. We meet that which is truly 'beyond death', while honoring what is living and what has passed out of our familiar, day-to-day life.

The broken places are rich and fertile, where our lives -- inward or outward -- may have become stale and lifeless in some way. We're cracked open to allow for new, fresh life.

Leonard Cohen, in his song "Anthem", writes:

Ring the bells that still can ring, Forget your perfect offering, There is a crack, a crack in everything, That's how the light gets in.

If we allow the broken-open places, without scurrying to try to fill them in or hide them -- a deep practice in itself -- we not only allow ourselves to experience fully what has passed, what we've lost, but we also allow the Light to shine in and illuminate all that is there, Heaven around us, all of the time.

Goddess knows it's not easy, yet in our deep-feeling and deep-experiencing of loss, and the full acknowledging and honoring of what's passed, we open ourselves to deeper Joy and a deeper ability to connect, reach out, in a joyful compassion and intimacy.

Blessings on the Way,
Jamie

Comments

[Pebblesrock27]

Thank you for sharing jamie! Wow! Wow!
This is for sure. I was in the dark night as well, but arose into the day.
Catapiller to a butterfly. :)

[Jamie Walters]

You're most welcome. I appreciate that you shared your comment, too. My own initiation in this area has continued, as it has for so many people. That's how the light gets in. :)

Lots of love,
Jamie