Transmuting 'loss' into possibility

I'm always amazed at what's possible. For  long time, seeing the possibilities seemed hard-wired for me -- it seemed easy. 

And then I experienced a series of heartwrenching losses, and suddenly loss, rather than possibility, was the main theme in my life.

I remembered those times when it was easy for me to conceive of possibility, but for a good spell of time, I couldn't access it, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't envision it. No matter what I did, it seemed, I felt stuck in a cycle of loss.

And then, weirdly, it was as if a part of me grew accustomed to living that way. Surviving, and bracing for the next impact. We're very adaptable, we human beings.

I know more than a few of you can relate in some way. And I know a lot of people who may never read this can relate right now.

It isn't something we talk much about in our culture -- we have too much shame and confusion about it, even though the news headlines are filled with stories of struggle and loss.

It's a downer, right? So we try to put on the happy face, or the warrior's face, but deep down there is a part of us that's reeling, that's heart-broken, that feels ashamed or guilty, victimized or at fault.

Energetically speaking, that's the honey pot -- that's what we're vibrating, that's the pattern we're holding, and so that's largely what we continue to experience. More loss, more struggle.

We can look at it energetically, shamanically, or through the lens of more recent neuroscience. And that's where we can begin to change that story and pattern of loss into one of wisdom and expanding possibility.

For myself, I can look back now and see how my energetic patterning and neuropathways got rewired through that cycle of loss and heartbreak, where feelings of deep grief, sadness, frustration, fear, and despair carved new tributaries into my being over those years.

I'll tell you now, that was a foreign and horrible land to me -- one to which I had an extended,  involuntary visit. It wasn't the challenging feelings or circumstances that felt so terrifying, per se, but more how intractable, how beyond my own will they seemed.

And for whatever reason, I learned an amazing amount. As I wrote a few days ago in my journal as I was reflecting on a seven-year cycle that's now ending, it was an initiation that left me wholly transformed.

Now, with a bit of hindsight, I can see how that rewiring happened, and how events in my life continued to play out those patterns -- patterns that, with a little bit of detective work (and often it's pretty close to the surface), I could see were familial, generational, or ancestral. And, of course, cultural.

And that's the good news.

We're living in times that some people say are about clearing out the old inherited garbage, old patterns, old beliefs that no longer serve us individually or collectively.

The stuff rises to the surface to be noticed and cleared, so we can individually and collectively create something different -- something more worthy of our Divine inheritance and gifts.

As one of my dearest and wisest teachers said, "When the Universe asked for volunteers to be here at this time, you raised your hand."

I admit it - there have been more than a few times when I asked myself, "Why, oh why, did I take the friggin' red pill? What was I thinking?"

Doing the work of transformation goes right to the core. It's not for the faint-hearted, and you don't get the traditionally revered gold stars, impressive financial bonuses, or award plaques for it.

For those reasons and more, it's very understandable that it seems easier and much more desirable to skip it, squash the 'stuff' back down and keep right on going. It's tempting to just take the blue pill.

I feel fortunate to have had the teachers and practices arise along the way, first to help me gain some sense of groundedness within the uncertainty, change, and challenge, and then to begin scaling back up the walls of that well I fell into. And I'm glad to extend that hand, hold that mirror for others now.

I've also felt fortunate to have energy practices from shamanism, qigong, and meridian-based modalities like Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT, or tapping) and the Tapas Acupressure Technique (TAT) to help clear the old patterns and traumas that lodge themselves into our bodies and energy fields.

The same practices can help support new patterns that open up a sense of possibility, vision, and momentum.

It's said that our experience is just a reflection of what's going on within us -- within our energy fields and in our minds, and within our emotions and feelings. In shamanic and energy traditions, experience is a mirror that shows us both what's up for clearing and where our efforts are creating a shift.

Through this cycle of experience, I truly feel that I've been given a much deeper understanding of that, a gnosis. It continues to amaze me. As the writer Theodore Roethke wrote, In a dark time, the eye begins to see.

So if you've experienced losses and traumas (and loss is a form of trauma), and if you're feeling stuck in those cycles like some hellish 'carnival from hell' ride, take heart. It's a story that's taken hold, and there are ways to begin to change that story and create something new.

Something different is possible. Your own experience tells you so.

Blessings on the Way,
Jamie

Image Credits: Triple Spiral by Song Sing; Whirl and Reach by Procsilas; Spheres Repacking by Fdecomite -- all Creative Commons from SpiralGallery

Comments

[Jamie Walters]

Beautiful insights, Wendy. Thank you for sharing them. You wouldn't be Aquarius-rising, would you (if I remember correctly, you're not Aquarius Sun)? I understand the financial loss/challenge aspect - Uranus in Pisces doing its thing in my Solar 2nd house for the last 7 years. So much of this change goes right at our identification with those old societal norms, e.g. 'credit scores', which didn't even exist in our grandparents' time (just like 'insurance policies' or retirement funds -- these vaporware creations of the 20th century). For those of us who were deeply initiated over these last years -- and it sounds like you were amongst this crew -- even a natural adaptability to and experience with change wasn't enough. It went well beyond that. As you say, some losses just sap too much, and yet at the same time birth a deeper wisdom, compassion, and ability to 'see with our other eyes'. That said, it's really important to clear those energy patterns of loss ... I realized this about two years ago, but am really 'getting it' now.

Thanks again, Wendy. Blessings.

[Wendy Groomes]

Hi Jamie,

You expressed so well, what I have felt and experienced in the last several years. The financial loss has been the worst, especially in a society run by credit scores and bank accounts.

This week with all the Pisces, and many changes coming in my life, I felt bereft and lost. What I realized after another journey within, is 'change' is the norm now, not necessarily stability. Typically I except change more than most folks with all my mutable archetypal signatures, but some losses just sap too much. The overall good news is when we embrace the totality of who we are, losses and blessings, we expand into the ever expanding wisdom of compassion.

Thanks for sharing your authenticity.

Wendy